Wow, three new posts in one day! Tonight as I was driving to Walgreens to pick up a prescription, after having an argument with Andy over where to put things in the new cabinets, I realized that both of my other posts were pretty negative. And both experiences I wrote about were not great ones, to be sure, but I began to wonder why they got to me so much. Then I recalled why I was going to Walgreens. I've been out of my antidepressant for about 5 days and was finally getting it refilled.

When I used to take Effexor, if I forgot to take it one night I was feeling it by morning. I would get shaky, sickly, and feel this weird movement in my head that I always described as neurons popping. When I came off Effexor before we got pregnant, I about died. I didn't want to kill myself or anything that extreme, but I did consider crashing the car on purpose and I know I treated Andy really badly. But with Wellbutrin, it's not been nearly that dramatic. I can forget to take the pills every now and then and feel no physical effects, and no emotional effects for quite some time. Which can trick me into thinking maybe I don't need it anymore, but I've been there and know it's not true.

When I first started taking antidepressants, I saw them as a sort of crutch. Because of the mental state I was in, I literally could not work through any feelings I was experiencing or choose to feel some other way. Just like you literally cannot walk without a crutch if you injure yourself. That crutch helps you get around and figure things out while you are healing. Many people can then give up the crutch and go on with their lives. Some people, like me, find that it isn't something that "heals", but that it truly is a physical need for medication, and then are on the medication for life. I've come off and gone back on the pills enough times to know that for me, it's a physical need that manifests itself in emotional ways.

Also on my way to Walgreens, I remembered that this week I've been really busy with work and of course the kitchen and trip to Atlanta, and so I wasn't able to do my Bible Study before my group met on Tuesday morning. Spending that time in the Word and researching the names of God (which is what we're currently studying) brings a lot more to my week than I give it credit for. I also had to miss our church Community Group meeting on Wednesday night since we were out of town. That group provides not only another place to talk and learn about God, but also a break from my role as mommy and wife, and just a chance to be a girl.

So this week it's back to Wellbutrin, back to Bible Study, back to Community Group and friends, and I know that the Lord will be faithful to pull me out of the cloudy place I'm in right now. He always has.

We are currently in the process of renovating our kitchen, which we are very excited about because our old cabinets and countertop left a lot to be desired. I packed up everything from the cabinets on Tuesday before we left for Atlanta, and the contractors came out yesterday morning to get started. When you start a big project like this, you expect to live without a few conveniences for a while. However, as with any home repair, several things came up that we just weren't expecting. Some, even, that we were told to expect one thing and actually got another.

First of all, when they unhooked the sink yesterday, there was a small dripping leak that they couldn't get someone out to fix until today, so we had to go all day and night without water. Andy turned it on for a bit when he got home so I could take a shower (because I didn't get to take one before they got here) and so Robin could get some water for cooking her dinner. This morning I skipped a shower because they said they'd be done around 10 and I figured I'd shower when they left. They left at 11:15, and silly me, I forgot to check that they had turned my water back on. They hadn't. So I sit here again, unshowered and feeling disgusting.

We were also told that they would rig our sink up so that we could use it while we wait the week or so for our countertops to be made, but when I mentioned that to them today they didn't know anything about it. I could do without the sink, but the dishwasher I need! Especially since I forgot to run it before going to Atlanta and had to unload dirty dishes into a laundry basket when the guys got here Thursday morning. And there they sit, dirty in my dining room. I guess I can wash them in the tub.

When the countertop guys got here about 30 minutes ago, they noticed that the cabinet guys had put the spacer between the corner and the dishwasher about an inch farther out from the wall than the cabinets on the other side of the dishwasher. Those need to be flush for the countertop to work.

Hopefully the project manager will return my call soon and send someone out to turn on my water, and the cabinet guys will come back Monday to finish the trim and fix their spacer mistake, and hook up my sink, and within a week or two all will be right again in my kitchen. Maybe we should have had my dad do the cabinets after all!

Last week Andy was asked to take a quick overnight business trip to Atlanta this Tuesday through Wednesday, and partly because I just did the single mom thing a few weeks ago, I thought it might be fun for Noelle and I to go with him. We could swim in the pool in the morning, have lunch together, and go to Ikea in the afternoon for a little shopping. All of those things happened, but they weren't as "fun" as I had pictured them being. Quite the opposite, really.

We left later than I thought on Tuesday and ended up getting to Atlanta around 11:30 PM their time. Noelle had fallen asleep in the car around 9:45, and after trucking her through the hotel, waiting for a crib that was supposed to already be in the room, and getting ourselves situated, she was wide awake by the time we were ready to crawl into bed. After many tears on all our parts, daddy finally got her to sleep only to have her wake up about 45 minutes later. She was inconsolable, and we had to bring her into our bed. Meaning nobody got any sleep.

Andy's phone alarm went off at 7:30 AM GA time and Noelle was ready to go. We quickly got ready then ate breakfast at the hotel, where Noelle wanted nothing but blueberries. Back up to the room, and Sesame Street didn't hold a candle to all the exciting stuff she could mess with in the hotel room. So, finally I decided it was time to head to the pool. Noelle loves to swim. Usually. That day, she just wanted to run around the outside of the pool and bang on the little round glass tables that she called drums, and pull the cushions off the chairs, and push the button on the water fountain, and put her foot in the hot tub. Needless to say, our time at the pool didn't last very long.

Tried for a nap, she wasn't having it. At one point I think she would've fallen asleep but she got a dirty diaper. After that I tried to get her to sleep in the bed with me, but she kept saying "pizza?" or "fishies?" Apparently she was hungry.

Off to lunch, which was not too bad, and then to Ikea, where I thought they had child care. And they do, but only for toilet trained kiddos. And you apparently can't take regular carts up in the elevator, you have to use this stupid "stroller" that is basically a cart but it holds a bag instead of having a metal basket. Ridiculous. Noelle didn't want to be there, I didn't want to be there, it was WAY past time for a nap. So we got back in the car and Noelle fell asleep pretty much immediately. I drove around until I found a little park where I read while she napped, and she was still asleep when Andy called to say he was finished and ready to go.

Pouring rain as we leave, so much so that we missed the exit to take 75 and went about 45 minutes out of our way because of traffic and having to turn around. We stopped at Chuck E. Cheese for dinner, and it just wasn't as cool as Andy and I remember it being. Noelle had a good time, so I guess that's all that really matters.

So we got home around 9 PM Wednesday night, and Noelle didn't want to go to bed and has had a rough time falling asleep every time since we left on Tuesday. Quite possibly one of the worst ideas I've ever had in my life.

Jaime has already communicated just how much Noelle loves Sesame Street, but here's an interesting twist. This morning Sesame Street had a segment called "Show & Tell With Ernie" (Ernie being one of Noelle's favorite characters). It featured Ernie talking to a young boy about a drawing that the boy had done.

Ernie introduced his friend "Ben", then proceeded to ask Ben questions about his drawing of a rainbow. Because Ernie was onscreen, I thought it would be cute to hear Noelle say his name, so I asked Noelle "Noelle, who is that on the TV?" To which she promptly replied "Ben!".

What can I say, the child is quick on the uptake.

My child could watch Sesame Street all day long, I think. She usually only watches one episode a day, but then for the rest of the day she periodically asks for "Melmo," which is what she calls the show based on one of the main characters, Elmo. That was pretty much the only character she ever referenced up until this week. Now she also says "Nuffy" for Snuffleupagus, "Uhnie" for Ernie, "But" for Bert, "Cooky Mocker" for Cookie Monster, "Ockser" for Oscar, "Bird" for Big Bird, "Beer" for Baby Bear, and Telly and Zoe.

She gets interested in a different character every few days. Today it was Ernie, and every time he'd come on the screen she'd look at me with bright eyes, gasp with pure joy and say "Uhnie!!!" with the biggest smile ever. Today in the car she out of nowhere said "Uhnie. Duckie. Quack Quack." Goofball. I do love the way she sits on her little couch and enjoys the show, though. And sometimes she'll make requests of me, like "Mommy? Bup." which means she wants her cup, or "Mommy? Fishies?" for some crackers. And I of course usually oblige. How could you resist? :)


And a little funny story on the side. Today we were at TJ Maxx and the song "Cold Hearted Snake" came on. I barely even noticed the music, but Noelle apparently heard it and said "Nake. Ssssss."

I've been getting a little bored lately doing the same old things with Noelle, and wanted to try something new. I thought maybe she's getting old enough to do some artsy stuff without either making a huge mess of everything or eating the supplies. I was right about the first point, but only because she pretty much refused to touch the playdough and fingerpaints I lovingly made for her. On the second point, however, I was totally wrong.

She stuck her fingerpainted fingers in her mouth (which only had paint on them because I pushed her hand into the paint) because she started to get upset that I wouldn't let her out. I kept trying to show her how "fun" it is to paint, but she wasn't buying it. And frankly, it wasn't that fun for me either, considering she just sat there with her painted hand held up in the air like it was diseased.

Then, the whole time we were "playing" with the playdough, she kept excitedly saying, "Eat it?!?!? Bite it?!?!" She actually called it a pizza, so I guess I can see why she thought it was for eating. But as you can see in this picture, her attitude was "if it's not for eating, I ain't touchin it." I again tried to point out the fun that could be had squeezing it and making snakes, or using cookie cutters, and I reminded her that it took a good bit of effort on my part to make it for her, but she still wasn't interested.

You can see more pictures from our painting and playdough escapades here, along with a few random pics of Noelle climbing in a suitcase and swinging on our front porch.

So you read yesterday about Andy being sick, and he really was. He doesn't get sick very often, but when he does it tends to be pretty bad. I was glad to take care of him, though, especially since I don't get the opportunity to very often. And as an added bonus, I think he got a few glimpses into what it's like to be me.

He told me that the worst feeling was when he felt like he might throw up at any minute, when your throat gets tight and you can just sense that something is going to happen. And I said, "Yeah, that's how I felt for THREE MONTHS STRAIGHT while I was pregnant with Noelle, and for about a month with Charlotte." Remember that feeling next time I get pregnant, and maybe you will sympathize a little better.

Next, he was sore from all the vomiting and whatnot, and just wiped out from being sick, and he said that now he understands why I wanted to be in bed all the time. Remember that for next time.

And finally, he was laying on the couch and I had set my empty salad bowl with a little bit of Raspberry Vinaigrette dressing still in it on the side table. After about 15 minutes he asked me if I could take it in the kitchen, because for some reason the smell was bothering him. I took this opportunity as well to inform him that he has now experienced yet another wacky symptom that comes with my pregnancies.

So, hopefully he remembers all of those things for next time and is a lot more understanding of what I go through to carry our children. Too bad he'll never experience anything CLOSE to labor.

So I went out to eat at Ruby Tuesday's with my coworkers yesterday. Part celebratory lunch (we just hired a new guy), part strategy meeting. I had the hamburger with a side salad bar. It was very tasty and I thought nothing of it until about 3 hours later when I got home.

I started feeling bad, laid down on the couch, feel asleep. Then woke up and made a BEELINE for the bathroom where I spent what was left of the night. Multiple toilet sessions later, I was able to go to sleep, until the middle of the night when I had to make yet another beeline for the bathroom.

So I woke up this morning and all is mostly well except I've been feeling nauseated all day, plus I feel like I've been worked over by Mohammed Ali. So, the only thing that I can think of is that I got food poisoning from something I ate on the salad bar. Jaime, the intrepid web search that she is, found a listing on emedicinehealth.com about food poisoning and it sounds like it's one of these two:

Norwalk virus: Causes a mild illness with nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, headache, and low?grade fever. These symptoms usually resolve in two to three days. It is the most common viral cause of adult food poisoning and is transmitted from water, shellfish, and vegetables contaminated by feces, as well as from person to person.

Rotavirus: Causes moderate to severe illness with vomiting followed by watery diarrhea and fever. It is the most common cause of food poisoning in infants and children and is transmitted from person to person by fecal contamination of food and shared play areas.

I feel like crap...hope it goes away soon...